


Jon Snow's Daddy Kink and the Problems that Come with Being his Father

by orphan_account



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward situations, Crack, Daddy Kink, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, POV Ned Stark, but like not really, i dont even know what this is sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:36:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26992276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which, Jon Snow has a daddy kink and Ned is quite uncomfortable.
Relationships: Gregor Clegane/Jon Snow, Jaime Lannister/Jon Snow, Stannis Baratheon/Jon Snow, Theon Greyjoy/Jon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	Jon Snow's Daddy Kink and the Problems that Come with Being his Father

**Theon Greyjoy**

The first time wasn't too bad. Well, that's a lie. Of course, Ned was a little suspicious of the Greyjoy boy when he and Robb became friends (yes, he knows they're in the same grade at school even though Theon is three years older than Robb, four years older than Jon), but he didn't really think much of it. It wasn't until Robb was sulking at dinner one day that this whole thing began.

"Where's Jon?" Arya asked, peering down the hallway as if her cousin would magically manifest in front of her.

Robb pouting at his plate in the same way Jon normally did. "He's out."

Catelyn hummed noncommittally. "And will Theon be joining us tonight?"

Robb shook his head. "No. He's _out_ too."

Ned didn't understand why Robb was so upset, it wasn't like this hadn't happened before, but he left his son be. 

It was quite late when Ned remembered he needed to take out the trash. Grabbing a pair of fuzzy slippers (he wasn't sure whether they were his but...) he headed out with the black garbage bag in his hand. The cracked driveway was illuminated by the full moonlight, making the familiar beat-up Mazda in the driveway glaringly obvious. Ned rolled his eyes and made his way to the driver's side door. If Theon wanted to hang out with Robb he was welcome to, just preferably not at midnight. 

"Ah, fuck yes, there—"

Well, that certainly wasn't Robb. 

"—fuck Daddy please."

 _Jon_. It was Jon. Dear god. 

Ned knocked on the window, looking anywhere but inside the car, he had heard enough already. Later that night, he had a very awkward conversation about safe sex.

**Jaime Lannister**

Really, Ned had hoped never to see any of his children _in flagrante delicto_ , and while Jon might not be his son biologically, he was in every other way. This is why, in hindsight, it might have been a better idea to call before dropping in to see him at university. And well, Ned wasn't really thinking.

Still, Jon and Robb and another boy (Sam? Satin?) shared a flat and there was such a thing as common decency when you share a living space with another person. And when your father had a key to said shared-living-space. That morning, when Ned woke up and decided to visit his sons, he never imagined he _this_ was what he would walk in to see.

Jon was kneeling—naked!—between _Jaime Lannister's_ legs, hands tied loosely behind his back pleading to suck his cock. 

As soon as the word 'daddy' was said, Ned was snapped out of his frozen shock, spinning around and slamming the door on his way out. Jon was a full-grown man (albeit _barely_ ), but Jaime Lannister was what fifteen? sixteen? years older than him. 

Ned needed a drink.

**Gregor Clegane**

Christmas dinners had slowly grown bigger since his children had entered puberty and discovered—well being _more-than-friends_ with other people. But when Sansa (his precious, darling, baby, _just-turned-eighteen-year-old_ daughter) walked in on the arm of a massive man with burn scars covering half his face and reeking of cigarette smoke, Ned wasn't quite sure what to do. Then when Jon walked in with a man even more massive than Sansa's, he nearly fainted.

He was certain he lost consciousness for at least a few seconds when he found out _Sandor_ and _Gregor_ were brothers who loathed each other. 

At least Robb's girlfriend Jeyne seemed nice enough. 

Everyone seemed intent on ignoring the palpable animosity between the brothers, and dinner went by fairly smoothly. 

While the Stark house might have been a slight bit bigger than average, there were still a limited number of bathrooms, and while he loved Catelyn dearly, he did not want to shower while she was...going number two. Thus the reason he found himself heading towards the bathroom his sons shared. Also the reason he ran into Jon coming out of the steaming bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel and a collar that said _Daddy's Slut_ in bright, sparkly letter. 

Although he was sure his face was beet-red, he nodded to an equally-red Jon and slipped inside, wondering what on Earth he had just seen.

**Stannis Baratheon**

Ned had resigned himself to the fact that Jon was never going to date anyone even remotely close to his age range ever again, but at least Stannis seemed more _appropriate_ than any of Jon's past romances. 

It was supposed to be a boys' night out—just Ned and his sons, but of course Bran invited Jojen Reed to join them and Robb invited Theon Greyjoy (cause they were a _thing_ now) and Rickon invited Devan Seaworth (who he may or may not be in a polygamous relationship with Stannis' daughter) and Jon invited Stannis. So, technically, it still was a boys' night out, just with more kissing.

The evening started fairly well, everyone avoiding mentioning that Stannis was not even two years younger than Ned. They all made small talk around the table, not the bonding conversations Ned had in mind, but at least he was learning about his sons' boyfriends. They ordered steaks except for Rickon and Devan who were going vegan with Shireen and talked about school and work and other aspects of everyone's life. 

Ned made a note to talk to Bran after both he and Jojen came back with hazy eyes stinking of marijuana. 

Then the food came and everything was going smoothly until Jon said, "Daddy, can you pass the salt?" and _both_ Stannis and Ned reached for it.

Jon's face had frozen in shock, all the blood drained from it. Stannis' eyes widened almost comically as he stared at Ned in horror.

Ned stood up, grabbed his coat, left his wallet with Robb and said, "Jon, I love you, but I simply cannot do this anymore," and walked out. 

Ned blamed this all on Rhaegar.


End file.
